Another one...

I apologize for the angst. But seriously. This is getting ridiculous. So there was yesterday's fiasco with the HTer. Then today this boy who my roommate likes, and who we all think is cute came over and asked her out in front of us! My whole life I've been told that I'm amazing and that there's someone special for me and to just be patient and wait for God's timing. But I sometimes wonder. Sunday our Stake President came and talked to us about preparing to be wives and mothers. What do you think I've been doing? And thanks for making me feel so much better about myself because I'm not dating at all. But if every boy we bring to the apartment goes after my perfect roommate (because unfortunately she is) then it's never going to happen. And finding him in my classes, not going to happen. there's like 3 guys.I feel so constantly like that man who brought his son to the Lord and Christ told him 'all things are possible if you believe' and he said 'Lord, I believe! ... Help thou my unbelief' I want to believe... I do, but there's always this doubt. this wondering if I'm not good enough. If I'm not worthy enough for His love, and His blessings. Much less the love of someone who's less perfect and WAY less important. you know?

Again-- apologies for the pity party.