Go to bed without brushing your teeth and have a soothed throat, or have a sore throat and clean teeth? I just popped a cough drop so if I did go to bed I would either have to throw out my drop (and it makes my throat feel way too good to do that) or I would have to skip brushing my teeth, sick nasty. Neither of these sounds like a good plan to me. Perhaps I'll just wait, waste some more time. I could take a shower, or check my email for the 100000 time, or I could just bite the bullet and head off to bed. It's just... I don't like sharing a bed. And it seems like it's going to be my lot in life for the next few days. Kristen flew in on Monday, Greg comes tomorrow. I am working very hard not to freak out about this trip, because Kristen's alread doing enough of that for the both of us. Greg is coming tomorrow. Her boyfriend. Why would I freak out? Well, I am the older sister. I guess I feel like it should be me bringing a guy home. And when she gets engaged I'll have to be happy and supportive. And I will be. I'm learning to realize that her moving forward in her life doesn't mean that I'm behind in mine. Would I rather be married or single right now? Honestly, here, I'd rather be single, but I'm not really looking forward to going back to BYU single. I'm normal here, even young in the ward (at least till the college kids showed up) but there... I'm an old maid. I know, I know, Melo-drama, but whatever! I'm going to be happy and successful and have a full life, until the right time and the right person comes along to take me to the right place.
Faith in God includes faith in His timing- Neal A Maxwell
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Stupid me, Stupid boy, Stupid boy!
I know I said no ranting posts, but this one deserves it.
Ok-- so I said I was done, but I'm like a crack-addict! I just can't say no. But after today. I'm really too angry/put off to do it any more. No more booty-calls, no more constant texting, I'm finished!So last night he (Raleigh) texted me and asked if I wanted to drive from Seattle to Port Angelas today (3 hours each way) I said sure-- I figured it would be fun, get me out of town for a day, and the weather was beautiful. So-- it started out good, the whole way there. Good talking, some flirting, etc. He was going to go look at a motorcycle to buy. So we got to the place: Awkward-- I'm not the girlfriend, but the guy assumes that I am, asking 'are you going to be the main passenger on this bike (which by the way, is a very sexy bike, and comfey too). I gave a half laugh and told him 'maybe'. Raleigh made me get on the back of the bike to see what it was like with a passenger on it and 'liked the feel of it.' Then on the way home I started thinking about how I am like his on-call girlfriend. I deserve way better than that and I'm not going to let him jerk around with my emotions and play along with his silly games. So I flat out asked him what was going on between us. (Because people ARE talking, and I don't want them to think I'm taken, if I'm not) He said and I quote 'We're just chillin'. It's a really good think I had my sunglasses (Really big ones) on because I had angry eyes. There was no promise of something-- I guess there's no need for him to want more when I jump when he calls. Why buy the ice cream truck when she's giving out Popsicles for free, right? OK, then I was angry and no fun-- plus, we didn't stop to eat real food. I get cranky when I don't eat. So I pretended to take a nap till I could carry on polite conversation. Then I really had to pee and he wouldn't stop. Then I was really mad. And I was most mad at myself for letting myself get jerked around. I could have told you that it was going to happen, but I always think I'm going to be the exception, not the rule. But in reality-- I'm the rule. Every time. UGH! Sorry-- that's a pretty long rant. On top of it all, I have a talk at 9am, a lesson at 11:30, and munch and mingle after the single's ward. I think I may help set up for munch and mingle then skip out-- I'll be super tired by then.
Ok-- so I said I was done, but I'm like a crack-addict! I just can't say no. But after today. I'm really too angry/put off to do it any more. No more booty-calls, no more constant texting, I'm finished!So last night he (Raleigh) texted me and asked if I wanted to drive from Seattle to Port Angelas today (3 hours each way) I said sure-- I figured it would be fun, get me out of town for a day, and the weather was beautiful. So-- it started out good, the whole way there. Good talking, some flirting, etc. He was going to go look at a motorcycle to buy. So we got to the place: Awkward-- I'm not the girlfriend, but the guy assumes that I am, asking 'are you going to be the main passenger on this bike (which by the way, is a very sexy bike, and comfey too). I gave a half laugh and told him 'maybe'. Raleigh made me get on the back of the bike to see what it was like with a passenger on it and 'liked the feel of it.' Then on the way home I started thinking about how I am like his on-call girlfriend. I deserve way better than that and I'm not going to let him jerk around with my emotions and play along with his silly games. So I flat out asked him what was going on between us. (Because people ARE talking, and I don't want them to think I'm taken, if I'm not) He said and I quote 'We're just chillin'. It's a really good think I had my sunglasses (Really big ones) on because I had angry eyes. There was no promise of something-- I guess there's no need for him to want more when I jump when he calls. Why buy the ice cream truck when she's giving out Popsicles for free, right? OK, then I was angry and no fun-- plus, we didn't stop to eat real food. I get cranky when I don't eat. So I pretended to take a nap till I could carry on polite conversation. Then I really had to pee and he wouldn't stop. Then I was really mad. And I was most mad at myself for letting myself get jerked around. I could have told you that it was going to happen, but I always think I'm going to be the exception, not the rule. But in reality-- I'm the rule. Every time. UGH! Sorry-- that's a pretty long rant. On top of it all, I have a talk at 9am, a lesson at 11:30, and munch and mingle after the single's ward. I think I may help set up for munch and mingle then skip out-- I'll be super tired by then.
Friday, April 17, 2009
A renewed effort
Alright. Here I go again. I figure if I can blog once or twice a week (while Aiden naps) that would be a good idea.
I love being a nanny for a reason. That reason shows up about 11:30 and lasts till 2:30 on the good days. Nap time! Where else would you get paid to take a nap? Now, before you think I'm lazy, I want you to know that during this time I also clean up the house and do the dishes. Then I catch up on my emails and check facebook. The couch and the DVR are all mine. Beautiful! Then he'll wake up, and because I am loved, the sun has come out today, enough for a trip to the park.
4:00 brings bath time and then come 5:00 I'll fire up my new Volvo (by new I mean New to me: the car is older than I am, but the price was right and it's in good shape). then maybe tonight something'll happen. Besides the necessary laundry and cleaning. maybe the phone will ring, or my text message alert will go off-- that would be happy. I love the little man in my phone who rings and tells me that I have a new message from that strange fellow-- I love it even more when it is that strange fellow-- who I can't seem to ignore. boo. I'm such a girl.
I love being a nanny for a reason. That reason shows up about 11:30 and lasts till 2:30 on the good days. Nap time! Where else would you get paid to take a nap? Now, before you think I'm lazy, I want you to know that during this time I also clean up the house and do the dishes. Then I catch up on my emails and check facebook. The couch and the DVR are all mine. Beautiful! Then he'll wake up, and because I am loved, the sun has come out today, enough for a trip to the park.
4:00 brings bath time and then come 5:00 I'll fire up my new Volvo (by new I mean New to me: the car is older than I am, but the price was right and it's in good shape). then maybe tonight something'll happen. Besides the necessary laundry and cleaning. maybe the phone will ring, or my text message alert will go off-- that would be happy. I love the little man in my phone who rings and tells me that I have a new message from that strange fellow-- I love it even more when it is that strange fellow-- who I can't seem to ignore. boo. I'm such a girl.
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