Dear Boys

My friend/coworker introduced me to this blog and said "I think you could write some good ones" So, while avoiding my homework (don't worry Mom, I've been good, I gave myself a 3:30 deadline for starting it today) I decided to see if I could write a few of them, just for kicks.


Dear Boy with Girlfriend,
Why would it be okay for us to go out because 
I'm more attractive and better marriage potential
than your girlfriend but not available for two more years?
Please lose my number, 
Not gonna be that girl, ever.


Dear Colorado Boy,
I'm sorry things ended so abruptly. But, from a distance 
I can see it was really a good thing for me. Sorry, I just don't want Jello.
Love, 
Looking for Creme brulee


Dear First Kiss,
Thanks for making it a good story. Too bad you were such a tool. 
But then again you apologized (7 yrs later). No hard feelings, a'ight?
Love, 
Not VL any more


Dear HS Crush,
Ugh. You lit a firework off of your head! That should have been my sign. 
All the best (seriously, you'll need it), 
Emily



Dear Magician,
No I don't want to experience your magic, I also don't want to 
discuss underwear with you. Telling me about how my
roommate turned you down is not a turn on.
Love, 
Glad my disappearing act has worked since I returned to Provo


Dear Missionary,
I hate to break it to you, but 5'4" is well below my height requirement.
I don't want to spend my life as an amazon.
Love, 
Fleeing the state before your return.


Dear boy at work,
I appreciate the presence of some masculinity in our office.
Love, 
The night time receptionist.


Dear Ward Prom Date,
Sorry I made it awkward. I think you're great.
Love,
Emily

Dear Mall lotion salesman,
Your "Helllllo" made my day the other day. But no,
I don't want your lotion.
Love,
Looking pretty darn good

And that's what I've got for today.