Stupid me, Stupid boy, Stupid boy!

I know I said no ranting posts, but this one deserves it.

Ok-- so I said I was done, but I'm like a crack-addict! I just can't say no. But after today. I'm really too angry/put off to do it any more. No more booty-calls, no more constant texting, I'm finished!So last night he (Raleigh) texted me and asked if I wanted to drive from Seattle to Port Angelas today (3 hours each way) I said sure-- I figured it would be fun, get me out of town for a day, and the weather was beautiful. So-- it started out good, the whole way there. Good talking, some flirting, etc. He was going to go look at a motorcycle to buy. So we got to the place: Awkward-- I'm not the girlfriend, but the guy assumes that I am, asking 'are you going to be the main passenger on this bike (which by the way, is a very sexy bike, and comfey too). I gave a half laugh and told him 'maybe'. Raleigh made me get on the back of the bike to see what it was like with a passenger on it and 'liked the feel of it.' Then on the way home I started thinking about how I am like his on-call girlfriend. I deserve way better than that and I'm not going to let him jerk around with my emotions and play along with his silly games. So I flat out asked him what was going on between us. (Because people ARE talking, and I don't want them to think I'm taken, if I'm not) He said and I quote 'We're just chillin'. It's a really good think I had my sunglasses (Really big ones) on because I had angry eyes. There was no promise of something-- I guess there's no need for him to want more when I jump when he calls. Why buy the ice cream truck when she's giving out Popsicles for free, right? OK, then I was angry and no fun-- plus, we didn't stop to eat real food. I get cranky when I don't eat. So I pretended to take a nap till I could carry on polite conversation. Then I really had to pee and he wouldn't stop. Then I was really mad. And I was most mad at myself for letting myself get jerked around. I could have told you that it was going to happen, but I always think I'm going to be the exception, not the rule. But in reality-- I'm the rule. Every time. UGH! Sorry-- that's a pretty long rant. On top of it all, I have a talk at 9am, a lesson at 11:30, and munch and mingle after the single's ward. I think I may help set up for munch and mingle then skip out-- I'll be super tired by then.