Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without

I could make quite the list of things I am capable of living without. 


For example: The headache that I currently have that, while it will go away, will again rear its ugly head, probably sooner rather than later. Lame.


Actually I think I could live without pain of all kinds. 


I could live without people telling me I need to get married. Seriously? I know. I want it. And if I knew HOW to get there, if there was anything I could do, don't you think I'd have done it by now?(Be righteous/read scriptures/go to church/temple/serve a mission/fulfill callings/visit teach/pray/etc/etc/etc...check (and continually checking)) I know how great and important and wonderful it is. I may talk big and strong and proud like I don't need/want marriage/a man. But I know better, and if you know me, you know that all that talk is just me trying to be tough and not let on how hard it is to be 24 and single in the land of  engagements of 18 year old freshmen to 21 year old RM's who've known each other a month, how hard it is to be happy for them, and for your old roommates who are pregnant, and for your friends from high school who have 2 babies already. (Please note, I am so happy for them, but at the same time, it brings sharp contrast to my single life). And how it's like a slap in the face when someone in your class asks what your husband is doing (possible answers: "looking for me, I hope" "not drugs" "I don't know, but he's LATE"). And it's just hard. I don't need to be reminded of it. I just want to live my life, and when/if it happens for me, then it will happen. 


That being said, the last two days I've thought a lot about pain and heartache and why life sucks sometimes, because I feel like I've been in the middle of some serious suckage. Here's what I came up with:

• Last night I was driving home from my AWESOME friend's house, and I was thinking about this, and into my mind came the words to the 4th verse of I am a Child of God (it's in the Primary songbook). It says; "I am a child of God, His Promises are sure, Celestial glory can(shall?) be mine, If I can but endure." God keeps His promises, and what does he promise? Joy--God loves me and wants me to be happy, remember? Men are that they might have JOY, and not just any joy, a FULLNESS of joy. Elder Holland in a 1997 CES fireside said, “ I submit to you that this may be one of the Saviors commandments that is even in the hearts of otherwise faithful Latter-day Saints almost universally disobeyed…I am convinced that none of us can appreciate how deeply it wounds the loving heart of the Savior of the world when He finds that his people do not feel confident in His care or secure in His hands or trust in His commitments.” So I need to trust more, I need to feel more confidence. Long story short: more faith. 
• Brigham Young said something similar to the following "every trial and experience we are called to pass through is necessary for our salvation." Now, I believe that Brother Brigham was a prophet, so when he says every trial is necessary, I'm pretty sure he means it. Even those that 'hurt abominably and do not seem to make sense,' even the big ones and the little ones and the ones we bring on ourselves and the ones that we don't. Again: more faith. 
• Then I ran across a quote from a book by Carlfred Broderick called: "The Uses of Adversity." He said "The gospel of Jesus Christ is not insurance against pain. It is resource in event of pain, and when that pain comes (and it will come because we came here on earth to have pain among other things), when it comes, rejoice that you have resource to deal with your pain.” Here's the gospel in Action part of it all. This is what we have the gospel for! The to patch us up when we're broken. Sometimes, it's because we sin, and sometimes it's just because life is supposed to beat the crap out of us. That's what the Atonement is for, both of those things. Alma 7:11-14 talks about how Christ will succor us. He will run to our aid. He alone can take away the pain, or maybe not take it away, but give us strength to endure it well. 
• “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our character, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God…it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven.”
  (as quoted in “Tragedy or Destiny”, Orson F. Whitney p.6) That one's like Brother Brother Brigham. I've heard this quote before

So while I'd give up the headache in a heartbeat, I guess I'm supposed to have the other pain, but, lucky for me, I'm not supposed to go it alone.