Faith vs Fear

Tomorrow I leave Fort Meade, MD for Fall's Church, VA, then my flight leaves Thursday back to Provo. All my excess stuff is shipped, all that's here is a carry-on and my laptop. I've known 'the plan' for a few weeks now, but today the reality sunk in. 

I thought about leaving, and began having a paralyzing amount of fear. It is not as if I have never moved before, in fact picking up and moving across the country is not even a foreign idea for me. I've left friends, made new ones, started over again and again. Though move was not initiated by me, I have felt from the beginning, (2 weeks ago), and have told people, that I know that God wants me back in Utah. I'm not sure why, but I know He does. That being said, moving forward, while I know it is the right thing to do is terrifying for me today. 

It's not as if I don't know what to expect in Utah. I'm moving into my same room, and my same bed, with 2 of my same roommates (and one who lived next door last year). I'm even going back to my same job (and adding another one), and the second job is just based on an interview (which I think I'm the only person they are interviewing at this point in time). Things are going smoothly, and should continue. In fact, I am heading home on the 17th for two weeks of bliss. But I'm scared. 

I suppose the fear in me makes me worry that there's a shoe to drop, there's something that will go catastrophically wrong (my previous situation being exhibit A). This afternoon I realized that I was feeling this terror (because terror is the right word for what I feel), and I realized the only way to combat fear is with faith. 

The words of Elder Holland's life changing talk came back to me: 

"If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts... Don't give in. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. "Cast not away therefore your confidence." Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you."

So I googled, and found the following video:

Something about Elder Holland's voice just brings me so much comfort. When I was on my mission, and struggling, I learned that sometimes, it's ok to borrow a little faith, so today I'll borrow a little from Elder Holland (I feel like he probably has a little to share), and I'll be a little sad about leaving (ok, a lot sad) all my friends here, the comfort of the known path, and I'll move forward, with faith, even if it is a little borrowed.