Let me tell you that communication was not always one of my strong suits. I have, in the past, tended to lean towards the passive-aggressive rather than address things head on, fearing confrontation. However, between a mission (and those amazing - shudder- companship inventories) and YEARS of roommates, I have learned it's better to just say things outloud.
Case in point. Today I got a text-- passive aggressive style-- from my roommate who is 19. She is upset at me for leaving ONE pot in the sink. Now, to be fair, I have left it, and honestly competely forgotten about it till I saw it this morning. The most time I spend in the kitchen (or frankly, at home, awake) is grabbing my pre-made frozen meals out of the freezer, usually in the dark, and loading the empty tupperware in the dishwasher. I've been home and awake probably an 2 hours total this week, and half taht time was spent in the . It's been crazy (which is the new normal). However, had she said 'Emily, hey could you take care of that pan?" one evening, when I was home, I would have remembered and made time for it before falling into my bed after my 12-14 hour day away from home. Even a NICE text message earlier this week and I would have done something about it. It really was on my list for tonight-- along with putting away the 3 loads of laundry I have to do.
As it was, she sent me a nasty-gram today while I was at work. It makes me think that she has been upset with me all week! And I hate that! And I told her that I'd rather she'd have said something about it earlier than having been ticked off for the last week.
GAH! Communication! Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don't sugar coat it, and stop avoiding things because you think they might be awkward. And really, they might be. But more likely, we'll both get over it, get any issues resolved before people are upset and life will go on.
Because her way of dealing with it makes me defensive and upset and like I don't want to be home, even when I am not working. Which is dumb.
You should see what Andrew did to one of my pans! Torched totally. I've soaked it, scrubbed it and even used oven cleaner on it. It's going to take some work because it is too good a pan to let it go.
ReplyDeleteSo let the nasty gram go...it's not worth holding onto. Tell your roommate you are sorry and just got busy. A dirty pan is not worth the stress =)
Keep Calm and Carry On!