I have spent the past semester at a local elementary school working with children in first and second grade who have various articulation (sound pronouncing) and language issues. Over the course of the semester when the kids would say crazy things, I just jotted them down on scraps of paper, which I've been collecting for the past 4 1/2 months. Today was the last day that I'll be at the school, and I decided it was a fitting day (especially because of my lack of anything else super important to do).
The "wh" questions:
Q: What holiday was yesterday? (memorial day)
A: Burger King.
Q: Who serves in the Army? (soldiers)
A: Blacks.
Q: Why do we go to the store? (for food)
A: To get some food so you won't get dead.
Q: Why do birds build nests? (to lay eggs, it's their house)
A: So they can poop out their babies.
The following are a series of questions with the same little girl:
Q: How do you know grass is grass? (it's green, it grows...)
A: Because Jesus made it.
Q: Okay... Who writes books? (Authors)
A: Jesus.
Q: Who puts out fires?
A: Je.... Firefighters!
Categories:
Q: Name 3 things that scoop?
A: Shovel, bull dozer, killer robot
Q: Name 3 types of flowers
A: I know all the flowers... Sand Flowers, Roses, Dandelions.
Q: What group is a couch in?
A: Fur.
Q: What can you tell me about Jelly Beans?
A: They come from bunnies.
Volunteered information:
When it was my birthday I polled the kids to ask them how old they thought I was turning (27).
A: 19, 39, 23, 13, 25, 21, 27? ("No, if she was 27 she'd be taller").
When talking about his dog who just had another litter of puppies:
"she gets married to a lot of dogs"
Girl: Miss Z, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: Yes.
4 girls: Oooooh!
Girl: What's his name?
Me: His name is Justin
Girl: Is his last name Bieber?!
Other girl: You're dating Justin Beiber!?!
Me: um, no.
Girl: Do you like Justin Bieber?
Me: no.
Girl with dreamy look: He's cute!
When I asked my favorite little boy why he was sad:
"I just wanted to do math..."
Boy: "I was born in the year of the monkey. That's why I love bananas."
When playing a game:
Me: I didn't tell you that, I was trying to be sneaky.
Boy with lisp: You're a Thneaky, Thneaky girl.
Me: Are all girls sneaky?
Boy with lisp: Yeah. Most of them.
Thank you for sharing! Kids reallly do say the darndest things and you are smart for writing them down =)
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