The Worst Case Scenario.

Note: Don't freak out, this is purposely vague, and I'm okay, Justin and I are good. I'm just processing.

Almost two months ago, I thought about doing something. I held off. I told myself I was stressed and put it off till my hand was clearer. I told myself I would do it after school was out if I still felt like doing it.

After school was out, I took a few days, thought it over and chickened out. I mulled it over for the next week or so, and still felt like doing it. I kept talking myself out of it. I wondered, Would there be a right moment? A perfect moment? Should I hold off? Or should I just do it?

Last night, I sat for a minute and weighed the pros and cons. What was the worst case scenario? The worst thing I could come up with in the moment wasn't the worst thing in the world. It wasn't ideal, obviously, but not devastating. (Since then I have come up with many, many worst things that could have happened.)

So I did it. It was dark, just after midnight. We were in front of my steps, basking in the glow from my porch light (read that sarcastically), and I did it. I decided that given the events of yesterday- that's a story for another day- I just needed to put my big girl panties on and do it. So I did. And well, the worst case scenario -that I could come up with last night- it happened.

The moment wasn't 'perfect' but it seemed the perfect moment to me. With a quick kiss, a whispered goodnight, and a longing 'see you tomorrow,' that was that. I went inside and went to bed.

This morning I woke up not upset, not devastated. It had been as I kind of expected, and I'm glad I did it.

Glad to know myself.

I guess the point is: the worst case scenario doesn't seem so bad when you've considered it beforehand.