Today I was supposed to go camping. There was a campout for the singles from church, and I've been going back and forth about wanting to go and not wanting to go all week. I'd planned on going. But by the time today ended and I got home I was tired, cranky and had a perpetual headache. I didn't want to go meet up with people at the church, pretend to be chipper and happy, and drive an hour to Cle Elum, but I kinda did. But I didn't want to sleep on a sketchy bunk, in a sleeping bag, knowing that I would wake up sore from tossing and turning. So I stayed home. It's been good.
Last night my mom came over and we had a knock down, drag out talk that, as these talks usually do, left me feeling really bad about myself and in tears. It happens, I need a good cry every now and again, and it had been a while. Also, I already started crying when I was watching Grey's Anatomy. Tear Jerker. Don't judge me. Anyway, so all day today parts of last night's conversation have been running through my head and I've been feeling pretty bad. Then I went shopping with mom tonight and we talked about how far I've come in the past 4 months since I came home. Physically, emotionally, I'm not sure about spiritually-- but I think that's because I just came home from a mission-- I'll probably never be at that level again. Well, I hope I will be. But none the less-- I've made progress. She's recognized it. And despite all my other flaws, that she didn't have a problem pointing out last night. She recognized that I'm working on it. I'm trying so hard to move on, to get over, to not be angry and upset about what happened to me. And I'm succeeding!
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