past, present and future

A friend gave me this to think about:

I'd like the attention of anyone who has it. Take a moment to evaluate your life. Where were you five years ago? and where are you now? Was it like you planned? Where will you be in five more years? These questions have been seriously on my mind, and they've changed the way I look at the next five years. Thank you. You may have your attention back

Where I was 5 years ago:  5 years ago I was going through one of the hardest times of my life. It was the first time that I really really felt like I'd failed. I was living with roommates I have nothing in common with, had a very broken heart because of my own stupidness, and felt all the more terrible because the Lord, and my parents warned me about the situation. I felt like I'd ruined my life, and failed as a student at BYU. Luckily, my parents love me (a lot) and wanted me to be happy, and sent me to Nauvoo for a semester. I healed there, I let the Savior heal me there. 


Where I am now: This is kind of a crazy question because I'm not really sure where I am. I'm still at BYU-- I didn't fail all the way. I finally settled on a major, and have served a mission. I've started dating a lot recently, and have realized that I'm not cut out for lots of dating, it's stressful. I'm looking forward to a light at the end of the tunnel (well, the undergrad tunnel). Two more semesters then off to Grad school. I'm looking at applying at ASU (where Greg wants to go to law school), UW (where I can live for free :)), and a few schools back east (where it's different from the life I've known for a long time). I still struggle to keep my head above water quite a bit of the time. I have my sisters here, because Heavenly Father loves me and wants me to be happy. Actually I use that excuse for a lot of things "because God loves me and wants me to be happy"


Is it the life I planned: not at all... but it's ok. This pretty much sums up my philosophy on life right now

Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace.

Where will I be in 5 more years: Honestly, I have no idea. That is the scariest thing in the world to me. I will be graduated and, barring marriage and babies, working as a speech therapist. Likely even if I am married I will be working as an SLP. I will be an active church member. I will have a temple recommend. I will work now to be at a place where I'm not just barely keeping my head above water.