I'm in Love, I'm in Love, and I don't care who knows it!

Ok, so maybe I care a little bit, but I try to save my crazy lovey-dovey-ness for a select few (to whom I apologize whole heartedly). Today I had a hard day. The adjustment to being back at home is always a little rocky and a little rough, and I shouldn't expect it to be easy and smooth the first week. I always forget how hard it is to go from being surrounded by people to not having friends/roommates available at the tip of my fingers. And I forget how hard it is to let go a little bit of my independent life and be a part of a family who cares and loves me again. But that is not the purpose of this blog post. 
Yesterday morning I woke up happy with life, happy with my job (I got a job, ps and it's pretty fantastic), happy with were I am, and as I laid in bed, pondering, I realized that I really am pretty much in love with this boy. It had been two weeks since it (the L word) came out and I just keep remembering/realizing that it's out there, and it's true. (At this point you may say, "Wait! the L word came out but you're not dating..." I know... unconventional? weird? yes. But I think things are the way they're supposed to be, for now). 
Today was kind of the opposite. Things didn't go my way, and I was cranky and I had nothing to do and I wasn't feeling super great. So I laid down to take a nap and my text message alert went off. It was from the boy (and while I feel totally ridiculous admitting to this) and it made me all warm and fuzzy and I just hugged my cell phone a little bit. (This long distance stuff... I'm just not super sure about how I feel about it). Then tonight he called me and we talked for a while and he just... Brings good things out in me. He makes me smile and just... it's easy for me to forget or discount or wonder what is going on... but see, he's back visiting the mission, and when you visit the mission, people ask questions the first is always "how are you?" the second is "are you dating anyone?" He said that every time someone asked it just made him smile, which makes me happy, because that's how I feel every time someone asks me about my love life. --Also he said that he tells them that he is dating someone, which is good, because I'm pretty sure that that's what I'm going to tell people. Hang the details of it all.-- And we were talking for a while, realizing that he is 3 hours ahead of me right now, and he needed to go to bed, and then my phone just died! (because it was on vibrate it doesn't give me a warning beep that it's about to die, one of the major flaws with the design) So I had to plug it in, wait a minute and call him back, even though it was 1:00 his time, just to say goodnight. Because I just wanted to say goodnight. So I did... and Goodness, I just love him. and he loves me, and we tell each other. And that's a new thing for me. It still feels strange coming out of my mouth. But right. It just feels right. 


It comes down to this: he makes me want to be a better person. He knows me, and has for quite some time, and he knows more about me than I want him to (since I am incapable of lying to him), and he loves me anyway, and makes me want to be better than I am. Because see, he believes that who you want to be is more important than who you are or where you came from. And I don't know what he sees in me, but I'm glad he sees it.


And that's all the mushiness you're getting out of me tonight...